On Being a Brat, And a Bit of a Pharisee

So, it's been a bit of a stressful week around here in the mission field. We had some crazy unexpected moments when our bank (thankfully) noticed some fraudulent charges on our account and blocked our debit card, which is our only way to make purchases and access cash here. Then the notice from our landlord that they want to sell our house, so we need to be out by the end of January. Our oldest returning to Costa Rica after a time in the States, traveling alone internationally, through icy and snowy Detroit with threats of cancellations. And then, a twelve year old who required an emergency appendectomy and a three day hospital stay.

Ironically, this kid was a total champ and never complained once. Clearly, he has learned not follow my example.

And I am admitting that by the time I found myself shivering next to hospital bed at 4:00 am working on 20 minutes of sleep, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.

You see, living life overseas, you get a glimpse of the way the rest of the world sees Americans. And sometimes you get a glimpse of where their impression of us as a bit pushy and bratty comes from. I have come to self-righteously applaud myself for learning to blend in to another culture. To speak their language and do things their way and not get my feathers ruffled when it makes no sense to me. (Okay, I get them ruffled, but I keep it between me and my husband.) I do not think most Americans are at heart spoiled people who intend to be single-minded culturally. I think we do not quite realize how the fierce individualism that is a core value of our culture makes it easy for us to off as having a sense of entitlement in cultures where that kind of individualism does not have high value, where what is valued is an inherent understanding of cultural norms and rules and a willingness to quietly do what is expected.

I thought I had become pretty willing. I mean, I've gotten used to sweeping and mopping my front porch because it is a rule, and have instilled in my kids the fear of ever walking barefoot, and the habit of not showering at night because it is bad for you, and I even remember to have three forms of identification and documentation on me at all times.  I was a pretty proud little peacock, all right. Until our hospital stay revealed me for what I am, still a bit of a brat, and because of my pride, a bit of a pharisee too.

You see, when your child is sick, your comfort reactors go into overdrive, right? You want to mother and nest and make everything just so for him. In the States, our hospitals and doctor's offices tend to reflect that. There is an attempt to make things feel cozy and homey and give you some sense of control over the circumstances and environment. Here? Not so much?

We have discussed the reality of medical emergencies here before, theoretically. And agreed, theoretically, that the medical system is adequate to handle most situations that would occur and that the $70 a month we pay for total medical coverage made any small sacrifices we had to adjust to worth it. I was SO above the American bratiness that demanded everything be just so for my kids. And me.

Until I wasn't. Which happened when theory became reality.

I am embarrassed by how that ugly sense of entitlement reared its head. Never once was worried about my child's actual medical care. First of all, it was an appendectomy, not a brain tumor. Secondly, we were in the highest rated hospital in the country, where preemies are treated in intensive care, and kids are cured of cancer. I was totally confident in the actual medical care Gabriel received.

What made me uncomfortable and left me feeling like this was not good enough for my child (and if I'm being honest, me) was all purely environmental...ambience, people, the place lacked ambience. And there were so. many. rules. And it made me feel stupid and humiliated that I had no inherent understanding of those rules and had to be corrected to the not so understanding nurse supervisor. I felt like a child out of his element, and raw with emotions. And when a child in that situation gets corrected, how does he respond? Well, by pouting publicly on Facebook like a true brat, of course.

And pout I did. About the uncomfortable chairs and not being allowed to put my feet up. About not being allowed to charge my phone. Or eat my Hershey's kisses. And on the inside? I pouted about a whole host of other things. About only one of us being allowed to enter the hospital at a time. About the dumb card that has to get whole punched when you change care takers so you don't exceed your limit of three changes per day. About iron beds and three public showers and toilets for a ward of at least 50 kids. About nurses who talked loudly and flipped on light switches every fifteen minutes all. night. long.

I tried to convince myself it was just sleep deprivation, but when I started to have obsessive thoughts about Starbucks peppermint mocha cappuccinos and shopping for shoes, I had to admit the truth. I am still a bit of an individualistic, entitlement minded brat, and a bit of a pharisee for the way I've judged others with those tendencies.

Yeah. I bought shoes and new outfit to celebrate his release. Long way to go, I tell you.

I spent a long night repenting and ask God to show me how to be like the Virgin of the Manger, who laid her little down in less than perfect conditions and humbly accepted that God chooses to be Emmanuel in humble places, where there is room for Him because He is not crowded out by what was there before Him, where there is need for Him because the need is not met by self-sufficiency, and where a world cries out for Him the silent darkness because it has not lit its own way.

Yes, I was humbled by my confrontation with my inner brat and pharisee. But perhaps it was just what I need to bring me deep into the spirit of Advent. Seeing how far I have to go to truly be Christ-like. And seeing that on my own, I am just a pouting, broken little mess.

When we arrived at our hotel after Gabriel was released, the maid came to make the extra roll-away bed and was inquiring about how he was. She smiled wide and declared, "That hospital is the BEST. The nurses are so wonderful. My four year old son died of cancer there two years ago. But they helped him so, so much and were so kind to me." Apparently. not being able to put her feet up wasn't that big of a deal.

And so I find myself at the foot of the empty manger and begging Him to come. Emmanuel, come. And save me from myself. Because I am far from you. And I cannot raise myself up. I need you to come down and rescue me. Free me from by inner brat and my inner Pharisee. Let love burn away my messiness and bring me liberty. And make me happy in the stables where the Jesus-lovers belong.

So grateful that being a brat doesn't exempt you from having awesome kids.

Day 17 of Giving That Gives Back: Lovely Links From Friends

So have I ever mentioned that I have been blessed to know and meet some really super cool people? God seems to just know who to bring in to my life to keep me inspired and buoyed with hope that we can use our gifts to shine His light into the world and transform lives.

Back at Idea Camp in September, I spent a very hysterical and enlightening few hours with some amazing women. Today I want to share with you links to some of the causes they are passionate about and some of the things they are doing to change lives.

First, let me introduce you to my friend Britany. She and her family are waiting for God to add a precious person to their family from Ethiopia. If you have followed an adoptive family through the wait for a referral, it can be agonizingly difficult and easily lead to listless despondency. But that is not how Britany and her family are doing this waiting thing. They instead have launched a campaign of love in Ethiopia, to take care of vulnerable children and make sure they are cared for. Just look at these faces. They started out with 155 kids needing sponsorship. But because THEY TOTALLY ROCKED IT, half those kids are now sponsored. But there are still 88 waiting. And 100 more kids they have not yet profiled because this first batch was priority. So if someone would please go get sweet Mimi and then tell me what her letters say when you get them, that would make my world. Or Bethlehem? Because, seriously? That is some Christmas joy right there.

Now, let's talk about another cool chick I know, Lindsey. She is mama to two beautiful kiddos from Ethiopia too. And so part of her heart is in Ethiopia. And she has some pretty awesome talents she's using to bring transformation to families there. Like writing a book about a little boy's search for water in Africa to teach, inspire and engage kids about the global water crisis. I Walk For Water is lovely to look at, fun to read, and every child I've shared it with has enjoyed it and begun thoughtful discussion immediately afterwards. And every book purchased provides clean drinking water for one person in Africa for seven years. Double awesome. Lindsey shared this link today to the Children's HopeChest shop on Story Company. I'll take one of these flower cuffs in every color, please. And the chevron necklace made by deaf artisans in Kenya? Need it for sure. Lindsey also introduced me to LOPA Art which promotes and sell original art by Ethiopian artists and some amazing leather bracelets as well. Poke around their photos. Beautiful.

Are you starting to see why I loved hanging with these ladies? Just wait. There's more.

Erika came along on our taco and guacamole adventure as well. She and a friend just began an amazing project called Somebody's Mama that is linking women up to learn and engage with global women's issues. That tribe recently rallied to provide a mom from our St. Francis Emmaus Center with a year's worth of formula for her baby. It's a great tribe and I highly recommend you jump in! Somebody's Mama is in partnership with 4 H. I. M. Just go check out this video about their poultry project at a school in Togo. Amazing. We are hoping to learn more from them as we develop our Chicken Run project in the future.

And then there was Jen. She's responsible for the partnerships behind the beautiful products that are turning up in the (in)courage marketplace. She led the development of the lovely new tableware line from Dayspring. And she recently went to India to hang out with the team from JOYN India and meet their artists. Because she's awesome like that. I love JOYN's products and was so happy when they were featured in the new TOMS marketplace. Don't you love that TOMS page? You could make a homeschooling day out of following all the graphics there!

So, yeah, it was a pretty cool lunch. Did I mention we got lost, invited ourselves through the back door and traipsed through the kitchen to get there? Yeah. Because awesome is as awesome does. I hope you learn as much from these ladies as I have. And I am so grateful God brought each of you into my life!\

Day 5 of Giving that Gives Back: Connected in Hope

CONNECTED IN HOPE

I am so excited today to have the opportunity to introduce you all to a wonderful opportunity to give in a way that gives back. Today, I am highlighting  Connected in Hope, a wonderful enterprise founded by my friend Ryane as a way to "empower women and strengthen families" in Ethiopia. The vision for this enterprise began when Ryane traveled to Ethiopia to adopt and fell in love with more than a child. Ryane has been very generous and supportive to me as I have worked to launch our Mercy Covers enterprise, so I am excited to share Connected in Hope with you today.

Connected in Hope supports the Former Women Fuel Carriers Association in Ethiopia as they work to transition women out of this difficult and often enslaving work into dignified and meaningful artisan crafting.
From the web site:

Subsequent trips to Ethiopia brought us face-to-face with women burdened the job of with carrying enormous bundles of fuel wood. They seemed to almost run as they rushed down the mountains around Addis Ababa to sell their bundles for less than $1. We learned about the enormous challenges they faced every day in an effort to provide even the basics of food and shelter for their families.   We saw the sadness in their eyes as they talked about leaving their sleeping children in the hours before dawn to gather fuel wood in the forest  Wild animals, harassment, rape were part of their daily lives.  We met children forced to quit school and work when the complications of HIV/AIDS left their mothers too ill to support the family.   We saw the realities of their lives – poverty, unsafe water, inadequate sanitation, not enough food.  The faces of the women fuel wood carriers and their children were imprinted on our hearts and left us forever changed- and committed!

I love that Connected in Hope is supporting and empowering local leadership in their efforts to accomplish this for their women. And Connected in Hope not only provides income development for their women, but also is improving education for their children, working to keep families together and prevent children from being orphaned, and addressing the difficult health care crisis in Ethiopia. This is amazing work, you guys!

Women are released from the back breaking and dangerous work of a fuel wood carrier to become artisans and the mothers they hope to be!

Not to mention that they make some of the most lovely scarves you have ever seen! Check out the darling Sarah from Amongst Lovely Things sporting hers. Here's what she has to say about these beautiful products: 

I love that I can wear a beautiful well-made scarf and connect with women and families across the globe. I feel like I'm wearing hope when I wear a CIH piece. And it's one of my favorite gifts to give!

Sarah rocking this whole mom of newborn twins thing in her Connected in Hope scarf.

Connected in Hope gives you a great step-by-step guide as to how you can help. Start with praying. Then go purchase a scarf or two because:

And remember yesterday when we talked about having a different kind of Christmas party? Why not host a Connected in Hope trunk show? 

You know what else is cool? When you make a purchase at Connected in Hope, the item comes signed by the artisan! So you can go find her and see her face and know her story, truly connecting yourself to the hope you are bringing into her life. 

You know what else is cool? Ryane has generously offered us a coupon code for free shipping for any purchases you make from the site! Just plug in GIVEHOPE2 at checkout for free shipping in the online store.

So let's build some hope in Ethiopia today while purchasing high quality, meaningful gifts for the Christmas season. And share this post with your friends and readers too so they can get connected in hope and enjoy our coupon!

Just coming on board today? Follow and share the links to the whole series

here in the original post.

A Roof Over His Head

About a week ago we had a visit from a family who lives in the indigenous community of Paso Marcos where we were planning an evangelization event which took place today. They had walked four hours to our home to, first of all, visit and get to know us a bit, but also to ask us if it might be possible for us to help one of their neighbors. Today, after our event, they took us to meet him and see his need. This is his story.

Oscar is a senior citizen. Even though he himself is not indigenous, he bought property in the community of Paso Marcos many years ago and lived there and raised his family there. His wife died years ago and his children have all moved on to other areas, leaving Oscar alone to fend for himself.

He lives at the top of the mountain in a little wooden shack which he rarely leaves. The tin that comprises his roof has deteriorated and is full of holes. Every time that it rains, all of Oscar's bedding (and Oscar too if he happens to be sleeping) get soaking wet. The dampness invades every part of his humble living space.

Meet Oscar and see his home here:

For $250, we can purchase the tin sheets we need to replace Oscar's roof. With a bit more, we can buy him a new mattress and pillow and provide him fresh sheets and a hand made quilts from our Mercy Covers initiative. His neighbors will help us do the work to repair his roof and keep him safe and dry.

Would you help us put of roof over Oscar's head before he undergoes any more wet and lonely nights? Go to www.stbryce.com and click over to our Paypal page to make a donation for Oscar. Comment here if you need help getting your donation set up.

Thank you in advance for being Christ to Oscar.